These 11 Habits I Started After turning 30 Are Making My 30s the Best Decade Yet

As I approached my 35th birthday, I found myself reflecting on the quiet shifts and hard-earned lessons that have shaped me into the woman I am today.

Somewhere between my late 20s and now, I learned how to trade the weight of comparison and anxiety for something lighter—more fun, more freedom, and a deeper sense of self. Most of this does need to be credited to maturing and the natural evolution of growing up, but there are specific habits and learnings that I can pick out at share. While everything unfolded in its own time (and I truly believe it was meant to), there’s a certain satisfaction in imagining how these realizations might’ve transformed my life sooner which is why I'm sharing these with you.

If you’re navigating your 30s or thinking ahead to them, consider this your cheat sheet for living a little bolder, a little lighter, and a whole lot more like you.

1. Becoming more mindful of what's in my control and out of my control

There’s peace that comes from being able to quickly differentiate between what’s in your control and what isn’t, especially as a situation is unfolding. This simple chart is something that really resonated with me, and I highly recommend creating your own version as a personal reminder. It’s a small, but powerful practice that can help you stay grounded.

2. Ask to have the picture taken or video filmed. I promise your friends don't mind

For a long time, I carried this fear of taking up too much space or being a burden to others. One of the ways it showed up was in not even asking my closest friends to take a simple photo or help me film a reel. They know I’m a content creator, and they’re always supportive. But in my head, I convinced myself that it was such an inconvenience—like those 8 seconds it takes to snap a shot would be asking too much.

The truth is: we all deserve to take up space. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. The more you embrace this, the more you’ll see opportunities, support, and connection flow into your life. It’s all part of owning your worth and letting others be part of your journey.

3. Let them show me who they are, let them show me how they want to treat me. If it doesn't match what I deserve, move on.

I spent so much time in past relationships trying to figure out how to make sure a boyfriend wouldn’t forget dinner plans or giving him the benefit of the doubt way too often, while invalidating my own feelings about how I was being treated. Then, I came across Mel Robbins’ powerful lesson: "Let them." The truth is, you can’t control how someone treats you or how they prioritize you—and that’s okay.

The moment I stopped trying to control those outcomes, I made space for someone who shows up for me, who doesn’t make me feel silly for feeling bummed about something they did. When you let people reveal themselves without trying to fix or change them, you give yourself the freedom to choose who truly adds value to your life.

4. Invest in art

I was fortunate to grow up in homes that felt more like galleries than living rooms. My mom, an art history major who worked in museums before becoming a teacher, curated spaces that were carefully crafted with pieces she’d spent months, sometimes years, searching for. There were no family photos on the walls—just artwork that told stories, each piece having its perfect place.

Decorating my own home, I lacked that patience. I want to fill an empty wall now, so I’d rush to Target and buy a Studio McGee print. But it never felt quite right. It felt like stuff—temporary, forgettable. And every time I moved, those pieces were the first to go into the donation box, only for me to repeat the cycle again in the next apartment.

Over the years, I’ve shifted my mindset. Now, I prioritize investing in art that speaks to me. There’s less turnover because these pieces are thoughtful, special, and often one-of-a-kind. This a reminder in why you can copy paste the interiorr design that you liked on Instagarm but it never feels like your home.

This doesn’t mean every piece has to be a splurge. Some of my favorite works are from street vendors in Europe, costing no more than 40 euros. However, I’ve also made room for the occasional splurge: a painting that makes me happy every time I look at it or a photographer's work that tells a shared story.

Art doesn’t just fill a space—it transforms it. And the more intentional I’ve been with my choices, the more my home feels like mine.

5. Live in the city or neighborhood you want to live in

If you feel an undeniable pull to a city, don’t ignore it—go. I truly believe there’s a reason we’re drawn to certain places, and once you take the leap, things tend to fall into place. And here’s the thing: It doesn’t have to be permanent. You don’t have to plant roots for a lifetime; a year, eight months, or five years can be exactly what you need. If you’re single and you have the means, don’t let anyone tell you it’s silly or complicated.

If you are in the city that you are choosing to be in, pick the neighborhood that feels like home to you. The one that has the things you enjoy—whether it’s your favorite coffee shop, a park, or a sense of community. Just because your friends don’t love your neighborhood doesn’t mean you have to settle in theirs. They’ll come visit you, just as you’ll visit them. They aren’t living your life—you are. We all have different tastes in clothes, food, and yes, even neighborhoods.

When I was 29, I moved in with my boyfriend at the time into a house and neighborhood that were both on his terms. Even if that relationship had worked out, there would’ve always been a part of me that felt like I wasn’t living the life I set out to live. I was in a part of town that didn’t light me up, that didn’t offer the type of community I craved, and it never quite felt like home. At the end of the day, where you choose to live is part of compatibility. Compromises are important, but never forget: you deserve a space that feels right for you.

6. Get the second dog

You’d never tell someone not to have a third or fourth kid, right? So, if you’re thinking about getting a second dog, just do it. Give your pup the sibling they deserve. It’s one of those decisions that might feel like a big leap, but trust me, the joy and companionship it brings to your life—and theirs—is totally worth it.

7. Ditch the lip filler & switch to botox

First things first—this is a judgment-free zone when it comes to cosmetic procedures. What works for one person might not work for another, and that’s totally okay. This is one area where it’s important to remember you can’t just copy someone else’s choices.

With that said, I had lip filler for about three years, and over time, it started migrating above my lip. While I love my smile, it’s a bit on the gummy side, and I just wanted it to be a little less pronounced. What I didn’t want was a weird pillowy shape above my lip.

So, I switched it up. Now, I get gummy smile Botox with the tiniest lip flip. Seriously, it’s so subtle that I never spend more than $240 per session. It’s the perfect balance for me—no drastic changes, just a little tweak that makes me feel more like myself. If you're looking for a place in DC, I LOVE Ever/Body in Georgetown.

8. Become a member of organizations, but if one doesn't feel right it's ok to leave.

There’s a running joke that joining a sorority is just paying for your friends, and on a level its true I supposee, joining organizations can be one of the best ways to put down roots and build a sense of community. As we get older, making new friends gets harder, especially if you work from home. Some ways to meet people and expand your circle could be joining your sorority's alumni group, signing up for Junior League, volunteering at a museum, or even joining an influencer group in your city—even if you only have a couple hundred followers.

But here’s the thing: it’s okay to quit if the vibes aren’t right. I stayed in one group for months longer than I should have because I felt pressure to stick with the decision I had already made. The truth is, not every group will be for you. Be proud of yourself for putting yourself out there, but if it doesn’t serve you anymore, don’t be afraid to walk away.

Even if you make good friends in the group, like I did, I promise you this: the people who truly connect with you will stick around in your life—even after you leave the organization. Community is about the bonds you build, not just the group you’re in.

9. Become a regular

There’s a pivotal moment when you go from just frequently visiting a place to actually feeling like you belong there—like you’re a regular. That moment happens when you start having conversations with the faces you see regularly. I get it, it feels a little weird at first—I’m an introvert, so I know the feeling. But trust me, the second you rip off that bandaid and make that first connection, it’s a game changer.

It’s not just about where you go; it’s about creating those small connections that make a place feel like home. Whether it’s the barista at your favorite café or the cashier at Whole Foods, those interactions are what turn a familiar spot into your spot.

10. Take the PTO & All the sick days that don't roll over - even if you don't have plans

Seriously, why didn’t I do this in my twenties? I used to think I had to be on my deathbed to justify taking a sick day. Even if I was going on a trip, I would still work on travel days. Do you have any idea how much less stressful international travel days are when you actually take the PTO? Turrns out instead of rushing around trying to squeeze in work before a flight or stressing about emails while in transit, you get to actually enjoy the journey. Time off isn’t just a luxury—it’s essential. And trust me, you deserve it.

11. Don't forget to ask people their names, not just the dog's

Since moving back to DC with dogs in tow, I’ve realized I have a habit of remembering the dog’s name, but then—six months later—it’s too late to ask the human’s name. Note to self: when you ask for the dog’s name, ask the human’s name too!

It’s all about connection and building community. People are more open when that initial guard is let down. A simple introduction can break the ice and make a big difference in how we connect with others.