An Extroverted Introvert’s Guide to Making Friends (Without a Kickball League)

Making friends after 30: how I stopped waiting for a plus-one and started enjoying showing up to places alone

One of the most common conversations I have with friends lately is how hard it can be to make new friends in your 30s. By this point, people have moved away—or you’ve moved. Work-from-home culture has erased the after-work happy hours that once organically filled our social calendars.

Friends are busy with school pick-ups, soccer games, bedtime routines. Maybe you’ve found yourself as the only single one left in your group, or the oldest by a solid eight years, quietly wondering if anyone still gets where you’re at.

And when you say this out loud, it’s often met with a well-meaning but wildly unhelpful suggestion: “Just join a kickball league!” Or a running club. Or this one from my Texas days - join a Bible study.

These flippant solutions might work for someone else—but if you’re an extroverted introvert like me, the thought of showing up to a group activity you already don’t enjoy feels more draining than energizing.

The truth? It’s not that making friends is hard. The hard part is getting yourself into the rooms where those potential friends are. And even harder: getting yourself there alone.